Seriously, here, it’s honestly kind of wild (and really unfair too) how much pressure gets dumped on teenagers to “pick a path,” like it’s some permanent, life-defining choice that locks everything in forever. Well, when it comes to children’s education in general, that honestly just seems to be the whole push here. Like a kid can’t even legally rent a car, but somehow they’re meant to decide what they’ll do for the next forty years based on a couple of open days and a vague feeling of, “I guess I like this subject.” And since there’s a lot of pressure with this, it makes total sense that it could mean unhealthy coping mechanisms like video games or escapism come with it.
It wasn’t that much different for you either, when you were a kid, something similar was pushed on you, and it was probably the same for your parents as well. So yeah, if a teen keeps changing their mind, it’s not automatically a problem. Actually, it’s often a sign they’re actually thinking, trying to understand themselves, and realising that the first idea sounds good in theory but doesn’t feel right in reality. But really, think about this, because that’s not failure, that’s learning, even if it’s stressful for everyone involved, but the kid, especially here.
Try and Reframe it as Exploration
Okay, the first thing that helps is changing the storyline around it. As a parent, that might honestly be the easiest thing you can do here. So, a teen who changes their mind isn’t necessarily being indecisive just for fun. They’re dealing with limited real-world experience, a lot of opinions from adults, and a future that feels huge and blurry. But yeah, even doing this, as a parent, it’s still exhausting to watch, because it can feel like nothing is sticking. But reframing it as “data gathering” makes it feel less alarming. Well, hopefully this will mean less pressure, but each change is information. It’s the teen learning what they don’t like, what drains them, what excites them, what they can tolerate, and what makes them shut down.
What Sort of Options are Out There?
And yes, this is a fair question to ask, so what’s out there for them? If a teen is stuck in endless switching, it helps to pull them out of theory and into reality. That can look like short work experience, volunteering, talking to someone who actually does the job, or even just spending a day shadowing. Of course, it’s going to really depend on where you’re living at of course, as that impacts the options.
Even exploring course structures helps. Some teens feel trapped because they think every option is rigid. But a lot of programmes allow some flexibility, and many colleges have advisors who can talk through switching paths or combining routes without making it feel like a disaster. Also, they need to know it’s not the end of the world, and even adults in uni change their mind, people who have careers even change their minds and pivot. But they need to know there’s options, they don’t have to pick one thing and be miserable with it.
Focus on the Next Steps Rather than “Forever”
Yep, now this one is actually pretty big here. So, teens spiral when they think one choice equals the rest of their lives. Again, you’ve probably felt the same way when you were their age, or had friends who at least felt similar. And parents can accidentally reinforce that pressure with phrases like “this will affect your career,” even if it’s meant kindly. It can help to get them to instead focus on the next steps, so that the whole ‘forever” thing isn’t on their mind.
