Pregnancy, childbirth, and the early weeks of parenting are very challenging. For first time parents, these months are like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. Even for parents who have been through it before, it’s not uncommon to find that each pregnancy, birth, and baby are completely different and challenging in their own ways.
Many couples find that the trials of these experiences have a negative effect on their relationship. As much as they wanted to extend their families, tiredness, frustration, complete and sudden lifestyle changes, and a lack of time alone can all contribute to stress and tension at home. Often, we need to reconnect with our partners, to improve our relationship, but also to make parenthood easier and more enjoyable. Here are some of the ways that you and your partner can reconnect after pregnancy and childbirth.
Have an Honest Conversation About Intimacy
Most new moms find the idea of getting intimate after childbirth difficult, especially if it’s been a tough birth or the birth of your first child. This is totally normal, and nothing to worry about. But it might surprise you to know that lots of new dads have worries too. They worry about hurting their partner, making a move before she is ready, or about things like contraception and breastfeeding.
Have a really open conversation about how you are feeling both physically and emotionally, and make sure you take things slowly. Try to remember that all intimacy is important, not just sex. Hold hands, cuddle and kiss. Just don’t forget contraception. Even if you are taking it slowly and don’t feel ready, it’s a good idea to order contraception online just in case. Virtually, an NHS business, offers the best contraceptive pill online services and can help with any questions you might have about your post-natal contraceptive needs.
Share Out Some Responsibility
Fathers can find it easy to feel left out during pregnancy and the early stages of parenting. Mothers carry the baby, they might breastfeed, and if they are home more, it’s only normal that most of the responsibility will fall to them. Your partner might be feeling pushed out or left behind. Try to share some of the responsibilities more, even if your instinct is to take care of things yourself.
Enlist Some Help
Most of your friends and family would probably love to help out with a little babysitting, so let them. Even if it’s just a short walk with your partner without the baby, it’s great to enjoy a little time together without distractions.
Appreciate the Little Things
Life isn’t going to be the same for a very long time. It might never be the same, and it will certainly be years before you and your partner get any decent time alone together. So, learn to enjoy the little things. Curl up on the sofa and enjoy a Netflix binge. Cook together. Try board games or video games.
Get Some Time Alone
You and your partner both need time alone, and to be able to enjoy your time together without worries or stress. Even an hour in the bath with a book can help.
Having a baby is one of the biggest transitions of your life. It’s okay that it takes time to adjust to your new roles as parents and your new relationship with each other.